Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
