i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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