final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
