Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize