So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
