And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
