If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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