How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
