Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
