I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
