That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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