Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
