he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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