She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
