yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
