Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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