If i come over, it means nothing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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