He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
