um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
