She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
