all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
