I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
