Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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