i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
