Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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