Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
