After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
