Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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