How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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