my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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