margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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