Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize