it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
