Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
