dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You are the jesus of drinking
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
