theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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