I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize