It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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