At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
