i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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