We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
