I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
