yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
