guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
