I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
