Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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