They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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