im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize