you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize