Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
