But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
