Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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