She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
