I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
