i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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