I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
