FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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