who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Even my vagina gasped.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
