so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
