Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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