i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
