Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
