Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm bleeding and have questions
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
