Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
