Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
