I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize